I arrived in Melbourne: awesome city. I’m from Perth so any city is awesome.
My friend met me at the airport, “Mel, you’re in Melbourne! Whadaya want to see first?”
I just hopped off the plane so I didn’t want to do anything at all.
“I want to see the bright lights from your TV and your DVD collection.”
“No, don’t be ridiculous. We have a lot to offer the tourist: culture, book stores, fashion, federation square…”
“Let me stop you there: DVD + eyeballs = TV.”
“Mel, you need to experience Melbourne.”
“I will, and I’d like to experience Melbourne via the television.”
“No, we are going for a drive.”
I don’t know why I have friends.
So we are out for a drive. The excitement is never-ending and my friend announces, “Let’s pop in on Deanne. She’s really nice. She’s South African and loves living in Australia. You’ll love her.”
“I’d love your lounge chair and your telly. That is what I would love.” I mutter.
As we are driving into the driveway, Deanne has already opened the door and rushed down the driveway. Her arms are open and she greets us with a massive smile and many warm greetings.
“Welcome, welcome. It is so good to see you all. Come in, Come in. Oh this is your friend! I’ve heard much about you. Oh! It is so good to meet you.”
She embraces me and leads me to a comfy chair. *Yep, I do love her.*
“Make yourself comfortable. Are you hungry? I have plenty of food. It would be a pleasure to share with you my friends. And we will talk, yeah, we will catch up.”
“Hee hee, bye Deanne.” I wave girlishly as she enters her kitchen.
Deanne is not ripping open a packet of doritos and dumping them in a bowl – no, she is whipping up ordervey things with toothpicks.
My friend nudges me and says, “Why can’t you be a bit more like Deanne?”
“What?” My brilliant comeback.
“Remember when I visited you last year?”
“Are you still stroppy about that? Look, you ‘popped’ over, unannounced, between the hours of 8am and 10pm, which you know is not a good time for me.”
“What was the first thing I said to you?”
“I have just travelled three thousand kms to see you. Wow, has it really been five years?” I responded.
“And what did you say to me?” She glared at me.
“Well… I asked, well, ‘is it important?’” *valid question*. “But, then I said, ‘Come on in… but I’ve got no food’.”
“And then what did you say?”
“I think I sighed, clicked my tongue and asked how long were you staying or if I could book you a hotel?” *Yet another valid question*. I looked at my friend, she had a point. So I shouted to Deanne, “Deanne! do you mind if I put the TV on and rest up a bit?”
“Go ahead my friend. You must be tired from your trip.” Deanne bustled through and handed me the remote.
I leant over to my friend, “Now who should be more like Deanne.”