God Bless My Cotton Socks I’m Out Of Retail!

Sales targets, aggressive sales tactics and getting hauled over the coals for not closing sales is over!

Frustrated Customer Service Agent

I’m out of retail and relieved and happy about it.

Now that I am scarred for life (I’m now forever cursed to walk into a shop with the knowledge that the sale assistant will deviously create rapport to psychologically profile me, to up-sell, add-on and close the sale! And here I was living in my small minded naivety that I would be helping people find really nice things and make them happy with their purchase, thou fool!

So I scored a job as a medical receptionist. I’m looking forward to being coughed on, sicked up on and being around Ebola.

Unfortunately, my roster includes Thursdays which was my weekly time slot for my radio talk show. I had to resign from my sparkling conversationalist position. The week after I did this the show went statewide… darn it! And that is the way my cookie crumbles!

P.S. I have finished being a producers assistant for the comedy theatre performance of Mort. It looks good on my resumé, but remind me to never do it again. Soooo much grunt work, no pay and a lot of headaches.

Life is good. I’m out of retail.

Praise The Lord.

I think I’ll get back into writing…

Dems-Da-Breaks

My  fourth book, Recipes For Slackers scored its first rejection.

Dems-Da-Breaks

Now, I provided the postage and the self-addressed envelope, so my submission could be returned because an English Publisher requested to see it. The colour printing of the fifty page submission with cover letter & synopsis cost me 35 bucks. Being the colossal cheapskate that I am, I didn’t want to replicate that expense, so my disappointment upon receiving my rejected submission was mitigated by the fact I had another interested publisher. But it was returned to me on a rainy day… yes, you got it: my submission was wet and the colour ran…

and then I had to beat up my beloved postie with a 4 by 2…

and then I got a splinter.

So I printed out another submission and sent it to the English publishers. This meant I had to cough up another 35 bucks for printing and 15 bucks for postage. If this English lot accept my book the irony would be entertaining. I’m an Aussie and, so far, Australian literary agents and publishers are not interested in my work. Let’s keep our fingers and tootsies crossed for our English friends. I have officially finished writing so this is tying up loose ends. I am looking for a real job which has been an interesting process. I recently endured an hour long interview where I was bombarded with questions ranging from my favourite author, what is my favourite film and why, to who I would invite to a dinner party, right down to my political views.

I restrained myself from stating I was a

social anarchist with fascist sensibilities that leaned to the left.

I also restrained myself from exclaiming, “Why do I need to discuss all of this with you? This is an interview for a shoe sales position. Srsly, is this necessary? Anyway, the look on my face – the incredulity, the what-da-hell eyes, pretty much lost me the job.

In the mean time, being the production assistant for TRF Talk Radio is awesome. I am totally embracing my inner nerd and enjoying frequency pics on Spek and directionality with amps and I can totally roll a cable like a tech boss. It’s sad how much I enjoy it. A few weeks ago I started assisting with the audio at my church. I’m hilarious… and I get every thing wrong.

Anyhoo, I’ll be on the ABC radio this friday at 4.30 GMT+8

where I’ll give my warped but fascinating opinion on the latest news & events.

Shame I don’t get paid to be a sparkling conversationalist…

What Is This Sorcery?

 

This is my new expression for “WHY?!” and

 all the fist shaking towards the heavens…

that doesn’t achieve much but makes one feel a whole lot better.

 

“What is this sorcery?” lacks the drama but emphasises the humour in any disappointing event or unsatisfactory situation. I’ll tell you why I used it today.

 

In a recent blog I wrote about scoring an interview with Spirit Radio that I waited over a week for the call back. No call-back. So being the proactive, go-getter, full-of-confidence person that I pretend to be, I called Darren up and enquired about the job. He actually sounded happy to hear me and said not to worry. He was slammed by the monster month of August and assured me he would call me to let me know about the job.

Good Darren… No, Bad Darren.

 

Why? Because I liked Spirit Radio on Facebook and two days later what status update did I spy?: “Hello everyone, insert ‘my-opponent-who-got-the- job-and-I-didn’t-name-here, has joined our sales team & he brings his experience and expertise to Spirit Radio and blah blah blah.”

 

Darren you did not call but let me see the full horror on Facebook. I cried out, “What is this sorcery? Total Dang-It!” My husband replied, “What are you going on about now?” So I calmly interpreted my initial expression into normal people language: “I didn’t score the job with Spirit Radio.” My beloved responded,”Their loss.” Which is a mandatory response in this circumstance. It made me feel loads better. Oh well, pick up despondent expression and solider onto the next job opportunity.

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